An Open Letter to the American Chemical Society

Dear ACS,
You are the greatest. No really, you are. No matter what has happened to me through my years in graduate school, you, the ACS, have been by my side, sending me monthly issues of C&E News, offering to help me find jobs in the event of graduation, and never hesitating to show me the exotic place I could be going to for conferences if only I were a polymer chemist. I’ve gotten to go to special “seminars” which consist of a bunch of chemists sitting in a room, listing to an enologist, and then getting really, really drunk on local wines. It was a BLAST. I learned so much about tannins and grape skins. I think I picked the wrong profession.
Not only that, through all your love and care, Sci can sometimes look in the mirror, and smile brightly and say “I’m a CHEMIST!” Sometimes I almost even believe it. And then I look at my undergrad transcripts and LAUGH…
Through you, ACS, I see a brighter world. And you can only imagine how thrilled I was that you remembered our anniversary together. Every year, the ACS gives out mugs to their members, celebrating their years of service. My first year, young ACS member Sci got a Hydrogen mug, and last year was celebrated with a Helium. This year, Sci was very much looking forward to her anniversary, and the expected Lithium mug which was to come her way. Being a psychopharmacologist like she is, Lithium is an element that is near and dear to her heart and research interest.
(You can see where we are. Some day, Sci hopes to be a gold member.)
So you can imagine Sci’s dismay when she received her mug and it was…cracked. In half. Two little bits of foam and loose plastic wrap do not stand up to the US Postal Service. Sci had a moment of woe, but you were there for me, ACS! You were THERE!! And when I emailed and said how sad I was and how I really LIKED Lithium, you sent me another one!!!! And it arrived today. It is lovely and pristine, and I am NOT going to let the other lab members RUN OFF WITH IT like they did with the last two. This one is special. This one is MINE.
ACS, I love how much you care.
coffee love.jpg
Forever your Society minion,

6 Responses

  1. What does a ‘lithium mug’ looks like?

  2. Pictures! We want pictures!!
    Also, can I be an ACS member even though I don’t actually do much chemistry (and I barely passed OChem)? I’ll do anything for free schwag.

  3. Sigh…AA, if I could take a picture of the lovely lithium mug from which I am at this very moment sipping a tasty breakfast blend, I would. But Sci…doesn’t own a camera. I just…tend not to take pictures of stuff. I’ll see what I can do over the weekend.
    And I can tell you that my grades in Orgo were AWFUL. But apparently by work now qualifies me as a chemist. Registration is pretty cheap, actually, but unfortunately not free.

  4. Except for commenting at schwag-dispensing blogs apparently, aa

  5. That’s such a good idea, an element for each anniversary! If only…

  6. sunil jadhav hi.?

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