The saddest dolphin on the playground

First of all, a big warm welcome to Kim H, whose blog, All my faults are stress related, has just become the latest scienceblog! I hadn’t read her until now, but I love it already.
So I’m sure you’ve all heard by now about that pink dolphin that was spotted a couple of times. It is PINK.
(Image via Grrlscientist, who always has the best pics, and who got it from this guy named Eric)
So guess what they named this adorable pink dolphin?
THAT. IS. THE WORST. NAME. EVER. Unless of course you’re going to name the dolphin following behind it “the Brain”.

Seriously, PINKY!? How freakin’ obvious can you get?! This is one of those things that gets me about humans. I’m like Ford Prefect that way:

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continuously stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It’s a nice day, or You’re very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?

–The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Same thing goes for names. We like to give things obvious names. It’s a pretty historic habit. “Adam” for example, is a generic word in Hebrew for “man”. Like when people name their cat “kitty”. The first time some indie guy did it, it was probably witty. Now, give the poor cat something individual to hold on to! My cat, btw, has a VERY original name, thanks. The previous cat, however, was “Pepper”. Not my fault. I was 4.
Same thing goes for this dolphin. It’s already pink, poor thing. No need to make it worse, and have the other dolphins steal its lunch money. Technically, the dolphin is an albino, and the pink color comes from the blood vessels that are just under the skin. The dolphin, like other albinos is probably also very sensitive to light. I wonder if that pink color is really one hell of a sunburn.
So anyway, I think there should be a better name for this dolphin. Something a dolphin can be PROUD of. The way I want to do it? Sell the rights to the dolphin name to the highest bidder in a group of cosmetics companies, and they can name it after one of their makeup colors. Then the dolphin can be “flirt” or “pacific dawn” or “pink lemonade”. And the makeup company gets free advertising every time this dolphin pokes its nose above the waves. All the other dolphins will want to get their flippers on that lovely shade.
It’s kind of like when Smart cars first came out. Sci was actually living in Brussels when this phenomenon first emerged, and there is nothing I loved more than the Smart car down the street. It had M&Ms all over it! Awesome, right?! Turns out you can get reduced pricing on your Smart by getting it “wrapped” with an ad. I saw Mars bar Smarts, the M&Ms Smart, and my personal favorite, the Harry Potter Smart. Oh yeah. I would get any of these put on my car!
But really, I want to campaign for this dolphin to get a better name. It could be something as simple as “Sweetie”. How about…”Barbie”? Nah. Does anyone have any good ideas? Let’s save this poor dolphin from mor harassment, you know?
Ok, ok. One more video. I LOVE this video:

14 Responses

  1. My first cat was named Noodles. Isn’t that better than Pepper?
    Also, I think Pinky is perfectly serviceable-provided we really do name the other one Brain.

  2. Lately I’ve been wanting to re-name my cat Maleficent. I swear she’s the evil witch reincarnated.

  3. My dance buddies and I want to name our future cats after drum rhythms: Malfouf, Tsiftetelli, Aoub, Masmudi, and Karsalama are just some possibilities.
    My housemate wanted to name his new dog ‘Kabalagala’ the Ugandan word for pancake!
    Yeah, some creativity in the naming, please~

  4. That’s Hilarious! I agree we should name the second dolphin The Brain!

  5. Thanks, Scicurious, for letting me know about the Animaniacs! Until recently, I’ve led a life sheltered from much of the media, and I’d never even heard of the series. I had to go to Wikipedia to learn about the people responsible for this brilliant series. The state capital segment is wonderful too, and it can be accessed from the above embedded video, if any other readers might be interested.

  6. Actually, one of our cats is named Malice. The other one is Humor.

  7. The Pinky…the Pinky…and the Brain Brain Brain Brain BRAAINNNN
    What are we gonna do today Brain? Why, Pinky, what we always do. Try to CONQUER the OCEAN!!!

  8. Clearly the dolphin should have been named Elric.

  9. How about Pepto?

  10. Did they really name it Pinky? Pinky? That’s horrendous.
    They had better name another one Brain, so that it’s not so damned stupid a choice.

  11. I still love Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain. I feel better now, I was starting to think I was alone.
    My favorite (from a parody of Ingmar Bergman):
    Yakko: All is strange and vague.
    Dot: Are we dead?
    Yakko: Or is this Ohio?

  12. I bet I’m your only reader who can sing along to that last video word for word, from memory.

  13. i also have a horribly evil cat. but since i have two of them, it’s a synergistic evil effect.
    i affectionately call them tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum…

  14. Flossy.
    As in Candy Floss.

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