‘Twas the night of experiments, and all through the lab
All attention focused on the shape on the slab.
All electrodes were strung outside to the air
In hopes that some lightning soon would be there.
The lab techs in their lab coats, and myself in mine
Settled down with some coffee to wait for a sign.
Despite all the caffeine, I got a mite sleepy,
‘Til the feel of the air made my skin go all creepy.
“It’s coming” I shouted, my lab techs agape
As I raced to the slab and its tiny round shape.
Electricity crackled, I threw all the switches
As I dreamed of lab gear and more untold riches;
Faraday cages, HPLCs, computers galore
My heart full of hope for what was in store.
The tech gathered round, heard some wires snap
Our hair all “mad scientist” we heard a loud “ZAP!”
A moment of silence, then upon the slab
A solitary hand moved to grope and to grab,
Then the form chuckled, and bounced up right quick!
“Eureka!” I screamed, “I revived old St. Nick!”
The old elf looked confused as I plopped on his lap
Imploring him for every lab gizmo on the map.
Then he smiled, but solemn, and shook his head
As the techs gathered round to hear what he said:
“My thanks” said the elf “for your hard work and honor
When I hit that skyscraper I thought I was a goner.
You’ve been too kind, and gifts you’ll get, don’t worry
I might even bring you a publication if I hurry
But right now I’ve got lists to make and toys to pack
I must run for the moment, but I swear I’ll be back.”
So saying, up from the table he rose,
Carefully detaching various electrodes.
Soon he sat in his sleigh, our new modifications were charmin’
With jet booster, power steering, and even a Garmin.
“You owe me” I stated, more than a bit demanding
He put a finger to his nose to show his understanding.
Then he clucked to the reindeer, the new sleigh took flight
But I heard one last thing as he flew into the night:
“Happy holidays to all, good luck and good cheer!
If you’re good, I’ll bring you a PhD this year!”
PLEASE PLEASE SANTA BRING ME A PHD!!!
Filed under: Synaptic Misfires