Argh. Why the hell am I doing this? What makes me think I’ll even get this damn grant? Like Shelley, I’m in NRSA-scramble mode right now. The deadline is August 5th. This is wasted effort. I could be posting juicy research tidbits on SEED but nooooo, I have to try and procure funding.
I hate this process. HATE it. I know they’re supposed to be impartial, but there’s no way they’re going to fund me when I already have intramural support for up to 5 years. But I have to play the game. Someday they’ll hit me with their Catch-22: why didn’t you receive merit-based funding? If I say I didn’t try then I risk looking lazy. If I say I tried and failed, then I won’t get rewarded for a track record of failure.
I know they’re not going to fund me because my grades were never stellar. I know that they’re not going to fund be because I’m proposing a hormone therapy as an intervention (which is so 2002), not some fancy mechanistic explanation. I know they’re not going to fund me because my proposed advisor doesn’t have a background in rodent behavior, even though she’s an endocrinologist with primate behavior experience and I have both rodent and primate experience.
I know I won’t get funded because every grant I touch turns to dust.
Filed under: Academia | 15 Comments »
